Wednesday, April 30, 2008

page2:

30th april 2008:


sorry i am refering to the date,
but this is very crucial for me,
i was there with the girl,
i deadly loved,
we were in college,
and as per our schedule,
we need to go to
different places,
now,

today was the last time,
college is going to end,

that is,

this day may become the last day,
i sit along with her for,
a long duration,
for college,
some 3 hours,
i weared my best dress,

i know noone is interested,
but ok,


she was happy,
when she left,
was that what i said
to her friend,

she had no problems,
in leaving me,

ok,

she may never understand the emotions inside me
for her,


this may be the last night,

or begining of a new era,

she is not interested in marriage,
right now,
i can't wait,

i will have to marry somone,
my mom has gone old,

destiny,

i must accept if destiny has something else
then i desired,
but happy too,
because what is happening is the plan of god,


i will miss her for ever,

a lot of love to you dear,
bye,







again i continue enjoying my
loneliness,
i went on a ride,
at a new place,
in night,

there was adventure,

i drinked juice at a spot,
then i went further to a place,
where road ends,

i loved/liked that place,
that was like a playground,
something like what /where i used to,
play with my brother,
in childhood,

i miss him always,
i donot mail him too mush,
as he controls my life,

but i want to do it,
myself now,

i must mail him?

ok

the place was not soo good,
there was happiness of a playground,
like the childhood,
but fear of darkness,
i donot know where i was,
whether there was ghosts in that area or not,

i believed god,

idesired not to go back,

there was a temple,
i went there,

at the greatest loneliness,
there are the God always with you,

i felt more lonely
because of the girl,

i said to satya sai baba,
i cannot remain alone,
without that girl,

i loved her,

still i then said to
myself,
i am happy,

i cannot get the ful enjoyment
of the loneliness,
as i feared,

fear is the enemy
of exploration,

i must not fear or i cannot
enjoy all the spots i have to
enjoy all alone,

i must be ready for what so ever will happen,
i must believe god,

there is good in everything,

jai shree bariya baba bhagwan,
jai satya sai baba,

jai bhole baba,

jai ma,

let's god help me,
in conquering my loneliness,
and developing to my greatest
in this fight with the loneliness,

i will win,
this battle,

every battle,